Seeking and Getting Help

Ok, I've talked about the Keys to Prayer, the Foundations to prayer and all that kind of thing.  Well, this isn't exactly in that line or series of thoughts, but kind of related.  I've had to both provide and seek help while building / remodeling houses, Concrete forming, plumbing, Dry walling, Working on Cars, and Working on Computers (both hardware and Software).  I'm not good at the dry wall part at all, I think it's the one area I'm pretty safe from ever having to provide too much help.  :-D  The process for figuring out a problem on Computers, Cars, and Construction is pretty much the same.  You start at the beginning and keep asking questions, checking the process and getting answers until you find the part not right.  Sometimes in this process, especially with Computers, you have to seek help elsewhere. 



What does it mean, or How do I seek and therefore Get, help?  Too many people seek help like this:

I have a problem.  fix it for me.

The problem, you ask?  Well quite simply this request requires the person being asked to do ALL the leg work, (to find out what the problem, REALLY, is, and then to find a solution).  Not only that, but it conveys such an attitude of "I'm master, you're slave" that I can't begin to express the problems here.  Third, (which is related to the first) the asking person never offers to assist in the resolution in any way, and in the process is, in a way, blaming the asked person for the problem!

So, here are some tips, that I have violated at times myself, to help you avoid problems getting help:

1. Do some searching yourself.  No one probably knows the problem better than you, so who else would know what to look for.  It may take you five times longer than the more experienced person to find it, but that's not the point.  How do you think that experienced person became so knowledgeable in the first place?  Not only that, but it shows you are willing to participate in the problem solving process.  You may not find the answer, but if you can demonstrate you have done SOME searching, you at least eliminate the stupid lazy user accusation.
2. If you do have to ask, provide all the relevant details you can think of that may help.  Like, what were you doing and what were you trying to do when the error or problem occurred?  Giving more detail is better than giving too little, but giving some will get you more help faster than giving none at all.
3. Answer the questions asked of you.  When the person you're looking for help from asks you for details that you left out of tip 2, give them up!  Nothing says, "I really don't care" than refusing to provide details when they are asked for.  Let's say for tip 2 you say, "I'm not sure what to provide" and so don't any any details.  Someone comes along and asks, "What were you doing (step by step) and what were you trying to do?"  Don't ignore the message and hop it goes away, because it will and the needed answer will go along with it!
4. Don't argue with the help provider.  If you ask for help and admit that you don't know, don't argue with the person giving you steps for a possible solution.  So what if you think it has nothing to do with anything?  Just do it.  If it helps you are the betters, if it doesn't you're no worse off.  If the person just isn't understanding your problem, try to keep explaining it until they see the light.  I had to do this recently.  I had called for tech support, and the person on the other end just didn't get what the problem was.  After a while of demonstration, and explanation he was able to get it, and I was then able to get help.  However, I never argued with him, I just kept explaining that he still wasn't quite seeing what I was seeing.
   
5. I saved the best for last:  ASK, don't demand. A "please" will go a long way, and the more cooperative you behave the more help you will receive.  Give me an angry question, you'll get an angry response.  Give me a sarcastic question, you'll get a sarcastic response.  Give me an honest question, and you'll get an honest response.

It really is that simple.  I noted earlier that I violated these.  I have at various times, and the consequences were always the same.  Either no help, or bad help.  I doubt there's anything I could do that would repair all that.  However, if I can help you avoid making the stupid mistakes I've made, I'll feel better about it.

How do I ask a question properly?  Kind of Like this:

I'm trying to print a very important doc, and I'm having trouble, would some one please help me? 
I was working in applicationA, and I use PrinterModelB (Driver version, OS, and Service Pack level) and while in it I tried to print.  I had the paper size set in the printer properties to the same size paper in the page properties of the document, along with the proper tray.  I checked the printer, and printed from different text apps on two different computers.  I received an error on this one computer with this one app, "error code ABC123", which I searched for on Google, and even stooped to looking on Bing.  I didn't find any results except one that said to turn off the printer and reboot the PC.  I did that twice, with no luck.  Does anyone know what this error means, and / or what I need to do to fix it?

As you can see there's a lot there.  However, it doesn't make those receiving the request feel like you believe they are your servants.  It also demonstrates that YOU want to fix it, you just need help doing so.  It also shows you are not the "stupid lazy user" who just wants everyone else to do his/her work for them. 

Well, that's enough for now.

See Ya'